Monday, May 30, 2011

My Top 10 Summer DON'Ts

This is my list of summer don'ts. So read on and pay attention please. 

1. Don't forget the suncreen. Do you want to look like this guy below? I don't think so.. put it on!

2. I like Rachel Zoe as much as the next girl..

 but if you go spend $200 on this bikini, just because she likes it.. I will personally smack you.

3. Unless you're trying to gain 50 lbs,
don't wear this dress. Just because stripes are in & the runway says so.. doesn't make it cute.

4. I don't care if you're a size 0. These pants are awful, and anyone who's your friend wouldn't let you out in public like this..

5. Don't bitch about the heat. Yes it's hot, especially if you're in Texas. The weather tends to do this from Feb-Oct, and it does it every year. So leave yourself a sticky note as a reminder. Your friends are sick of hearing about it.

6. Don't drink soda all day long.
I love my soda too, but you need some water. Try some tea, propel, and water. It's summer, may I remind of heat stroke and dehydration?

7. If you're at a community pool, don't let your kids act like hellions or bring alcohol to the pool. Also, wear clothes that fit you, we don't care to see your "assets".

8. I don't know what's she is smoking, but don't even think about it!
The leotard goes inside your shorts. And by shorts I don't mean spankies. Also the whole world doesn't want to see your tits. Leave something to the imagination.

9. Everyone seems to think summer = alcohol. This isn't the case. For those of you who do drink, don't drink and drive. No matter if you had 1 drink or 10.

10. Last but not least, 
DON'T EVER let your husband, daddy, brother, or friend mow the lawn like this. Or with there crack hanging out.

Have a great night yall. Oh, I found all my images via google.com










2 comments:

  1. here's my train of thoughts as I went through your list..

    - Ouh, yeah.. must take note..
    - I wish I could afford that much for a swimsuit..
    - Whoa... no.
    - Ouh.. why would you wear that.
    - Coca cola?! Oh no, this is a cola gal. *mental note* (If I get to choose, Pepsi any time).
    - Ah! why is she wearing that!
    - Oh the horror. This is one of the million reasons I hardly drink. And definitely don't D&D.
    - AHH!! and that's a reason why many crazy men shouldn't drink.

    As you can see it went from agreeing to being completely disgusted.

    I love it. Fantastic morning-reading blog!

    Thanks for sharing!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LMFAO! I love you Jay! You're hilarious. I picked Coke, because I'm telling people not to drink it lol. I love my Pepsi though, it's a must have to get through the day. Lol! For the last picture, I searched "guy mowing lawn". I wanted to get a picture of a fat guy with crack showing, to tell the women to make their husbands & daddys put on a damn shirt. I found that one instead, which was too hilarious not to show!

    ReplyDelete

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