Thursday, March 31, 2011
A sad ending to a beautiful beginning
So, the sad truth is, I'm having a miscarriage. I went into the doctor today because I was still spotting, and they thought it was 90% chance that it was a blighted ovum. I got my blood drawn to check my pregnancy hormones, and honestly keep a positive attitude. I was hanging on to the 10% chance that there was at least 1 baby and everything was fine. Later this evening I started bleeding more heavily, clotting, and cramping. It's pretty obvious that it's a miscarriage. I've had 2 before in my first and second pregnancies, so I know what it feels and looks like. So I will call my doctor in the morning, since the on call doctor was no help at all [once again], and he will most likely have me in tomorrow afternoon for a D&C. So after all of this, I really am okay. It's sad and I wish we could have kept at least one, but it wasn't meant to be I guess. The hardest part was telling my son Nickalaus that the babies had to go to Heaven to live with bubby [Benjamin]. That broke my heart, seriously. He said okay though, [he play with Benjamin, or says he does]. So everything happens for a reason, and if we knew the reason why there'd be no reason for f a i t h.